PROLOGUE-
“Sorry I’m la-“ a pistol was pointed straight at my face as I entered the crowded class room.
“Stay away from our son!” Mr. Holcomb shielded Daniel from my puzzled gaze.
“What’s going on?” I stared pleadingly at my classmates for answers, only receiving shameful gazes and fallen heads.
“We know what you are, Riley Anne. All of us do, and we want you to leave,” Daniel’s mother clutched her son without looking at me.
“Wha- What do you mean?” my stomach shriveled up to the size of a quarter and my knees buckled. Mrs. Holcomb pulled an old video cassette from her jacket pocket and released Daniel, slowly trudging towards the TV. On the screen, an image flickered. The video of our experiment with the professor in his office flashed across the ancient glass. It looked terrible.
“Who the hell gave you this!?” I slammed my hand on the desk, denting its hard black surface. Lucas slithered out of my bag and hovered silently, only inches from my head.
“We have a reliable source,” my teacher, Mr. Underwood, pulled the tape from the TV.
Chapter 1 – Party – NOT FINISHED
It rained the whole car ride to Aunt Kathryn’s house. Everything about the cold, dark sky reminded me of my Aunt’s unwavering forbidding stares. I didn’t know why Daniel and I had been invited. Perhaps Aunt Kathryn needed to perfect her biting wit or had grown bored insulting the neighbors in muttered undertones behind a mendacious smile and lukewarm tea. If not for Daniel, who slept restlessly in the passenger seat as if he too felt the oppressive clouds bearing down on him as they drew nearer, I wouldn’t have even considered going.
The drive form Baltimore to Buda was unbearable. The landscape grew darker as we approached my Aunt’s house. Passing over the Hays county line, a cold sensation trickled down my spine, as if I were pursuing death itself.
“Whoa!” Daniel jerked forward in his seat, slapping his forehand on the window of my Xterra.
“We just passed the county line,” I warned him, glancing at a six car pile-up on the opposite road.
“Oh,” Daniel whispered slowly, rubbing his slightly bruised hand, “How much longer?”
“About ten minuets so get ready,” I took the exit leading through a maze of trees, fading the atmosphere to pitch black besides the faint glow from my headlights.
“This is her house?” Daniel stared in disbelief at the un-kept lawn.
“It’s farther back, you dummy,” I giggled faintly at his assumption. The last giggle I would probably have for an eternity, or at least a week. Suddenly in the blackness of the lawn, a two dim porch lights flickered in the darkness. The silhouette of a petite figure leaped out one of the mahogany front doors. Racing towards us was my Aunt Kathryn’s daughter, Helen. I always loved to see Helen, especially when she visited without Aunt Kathryn. It was usually her that kept me from a spiraling depression during visits. Her blonde, curly hair bounced playfully in my face as she constricted me with her thin arms.
“Riley Anne! I’ve missed you so much! Come on! Come inside!” Helen pulled her baby blue night robe from the clutch of a dead rosebush inside the wrought iron gate, “Here, Daniel, let me help you.” Helen elevated our two massive suite cases in each arm, trudging up the wet grey stones. Aunt Kathryn’s house was far too big for her. She had a second floor that was never used aside from a bedroom, a formal dining room that has been gathering dust for twenty years, a kitchen the size of a small restaurant, only used by Helen and the butler, Fernando, a formal living room, and a tea room, only inhabited by Aunt Kathryn herself.
Are there ny changes that need to be made? This isn’t the whole chapter so far.
lol thanks john
There’s a big debate about point-of-view of the writer, and my two favorite are first person and third person omniscent, with the latter my favoring, but here I really like your first person style and you really made it work for you.
Talk about a beggining… It’s amazingly mysterious and I absolutely dig how it entraps you so you have to keep reading. Your enless volleys of descriptions paint a vivid picture with flawless glamour, but maybe you could throw in something about age for Helen, just in relation to your character. Like significantly younger or older or prettty much the same.
I really think you could go somewhere with this story, and I dont think there’s really anyhting that needs to be changed.
Keep rockin, – John
"Writing can get one through hard times with no money better than money can get one through times of no writing."
Please dont let this scare you away, it’s fast to read through.
PROLOGUE-
“Sorry I’m la-“ a pistol was pointed straight at my face as I entered the crowded class room.
“Stay away from our son!” Mr. Holcomb shielded Daniel from my puzzled gaze.
“What’s going on?” I stared pleadingly at my classmates for answers, only receiving shameful gazes and fallen heads.
“We know what you are, Riley Anne. All of us do, and we want you to leave,” Daniel’s mother clutched her son without looking at me.
“Wha- What do you mean?” my stomach shriveled up to the size of a quarter and my knees buckled. Mrs. Holcomb pulled an old video cassette from her jacket pocket and released Daniel, slowly trudging towards the TV. On the screen, an image flickered. The video of our experiment with the professor in his office flashed across the ancient glass. It looked terrible.
“Who the hell gave you this!?” I slammed my hand on the desk, denting its hard black surface. Lucas slithered out of my bag and hovered silently, only inches from my head.
“We have a reliable source,” my teacher, Mr. Underwood, pulled the tape from the TV.
Chapter 1 – Party
It rained the whole car ride to Aunt Kathryn’s house. Everything about the cold, dark sky reminded me of my Aunt’s unwavering forbidding stares. I didn’t know why Daniel and I had been invited. Perhaps Aunt Kathryn needed to perfect her biting wit or had grown bored insulting the neighbors in muttered undertones behind a mendacious smile and lukewarm tea. If not for Daniel, who slept restlessly in the passenger seat as if he too felt the oppressive clouds bearing down on him as they drew nearer, I wouldn’t have even considered going.
The drive form Baltimore to Buda was unbearable. The landscape grew darker as we approached my Aunt’s house. Passing over the Hays county line, a cold sensation trickled down my spine, as if I were pursuing death itself.
“Whoa!” Daniel jerked forward in his seat, slapping his forehand on the window of my Xterra.
“We just passed the county line,” I warned him, glancing at a six car pile-up on the opposite road.
“Oh,” Daniel whispered hesitantly, rubbing his slightly bruised hand, “How much longer?”
“About ten minuets so get ready,” I took the exit leading through a maze of trees, fading the atmosphere to pitch black aside from the faint glow from my headlights.
“This is her house?” Daniel stared in disbelief at the un-kept lawn.
“It’s farther back, you dummy,” I giggled faintly at his assumption. The last giggle I would probably have for an eternity, or at least a week. Suddenly in the blackness of the lawn, a two dim porch lights flickered in the darkness. The silhouette of a petite figure leaped out one of the mahogany front doors. Racing towards us was my Aunt Kathryn’s daughter, Helen. I always loved to see Helen, especially when she visited without Aunt Kathryn. It was usually her that kept me from a spiraling depression during visits. Her blonde, curly hair bounced playfully in my face as she constricted me with her thin arms.
“Riley Anne! I’ve missed you so much! Come on! Come inside!” Helen pulled her baby blue night robe from the clutch of a dead rosebush inside the wrought iron gate, “Here, Daniel, let me help you.” Helen elevated our two massive suite cases in each arm, trudging up the wet grey stones. Auth Kathryn’s house was far too big for her small self. There was an unoccupied second floor; the only exception was the bedroom. Below was a formal dining room gathering dust for twenty years connected to a kitchen the size of a small restaurant only used by Helen and the butler, Herbert. Finally there was a formal living room and a stunning tea room, inhabited by the small Aunt Kathryn herself.
“Allow me?” Herbert waited directly inside of the doors, prepared for anything we threw at him.
“Yeah, Herb. Take these to the two closest guest rooms, please,” our suit cases hit the tile with a massive THUMP!
I’m not entirely sure why others aren’t liking it, the writing feels quite similar to that of the novels I’ve been reading. The prologue was very good, as short as the prologue should be in comparison to a normal chapter, and yet it still grabs your attention, as you have no idea what she is, who or what Lucas is, and what was on that cassette.
One point though, when she passed the county line, "a cold sensation trickled down my spine, as if I were pursuing death itself," This is fine if you’re foreshadowing that she’s going to die in this area over the county line, but if she isn’t, then the line is too extreme, and you might consider replacing it with, "for a moment, a chill went through me, starting at my center, and permeating my entire body,"
Of course, that is just a minor flaw.
real estate in san marcos texas
in hays county and guadalupe county
What sight would have the tax assestment for the address 961 ridge drive 78666?
Go to the Texas State Government web site and follow the
directions to the site you seek.It has phone numbers etc that you can use.Good luck
I also woke up with an ache on my neck but im not sure why.
And I’m very worried about the swine flu, although 6 people have it in my state but not my county. Can it just be hay fever and maybe just allergies? I’m paranoid.
Yeah stop freaking out, its probably nothing.
If you’re seriously worried, get checked out by a physician.
Hey i live in new york and we are moving to a house in orange county. we are getting horses and i am leasing one right now. i dont know if i should change their feed? or give them the local hay/food??? i need help as you can see. please tell me what you think but i ONLY want your opinion if you know WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT. thanks!
First, in case you don’t know – just ignore this part if you do – — you’d be smart to bring 3-4 week supply of whatever hay you’re currently feeding and make the switch to whatever gradually. A lot of people don’t as they assume timothy is timothy, for example, when actually tim. differs quite a bit depending on where it’s grown, and the SAFEST thing to do to avoid colic is to make any and all changes gradual so the hind gut microflora can adjust accordingly. So that said, we don’t feed local hay, we feed timothy, t&a, or sometimes o&a, all from out west, or north. Some people feed round bales, which are quite cheap, but I wouldn’t. Quite a few people feed coastal (from Georgia?), but I’ve heard too many first-hand stories about ileal impaction related to feeding coastal, so I don’t.
I think you might be a little shocked at the price of hay down south. Good timothy last winter was 32.50 for a 110lb bale, which came to almost $600/ton. You may not need to feed timothy, however. As for grain, there are several local manufacturers. You can just look around and make your decision, of course bringing your current grain with you, if you feed grain, and switching gradually. Again, I apologize if you already know to do that, and I"m just telling you something you already know. You’d be surprised how many people I run into who’ve had horses for years DON’T know that.
Yesterday I bought seeds for Fall/Winter garden…Swiss Chard, Lettuce (Simpson Black Seed) Radishes, Spinach, and Carrots. It appears, according to the Hays County planting guide that we have, that I should wait until at least mid-August, perhaps later to start these seeds. The plan would be to keep most of them (except for the radishes and carrots, of course) in the hydropon. What do you think about the timing of planting?
The seeds you mentioned can be planted now in the Lower Mainland of B.C. Canada.
How can Republicans claim to be against Big Government when they
are generally the biggest threat to civil liberties, dissent, and personal
freedom that exist in this country?
Exhibit A: The Meese Commission
Exhibit B: John "No Lady Justice" Ashcroft
Exhibit C: PATRIOT ACT
Exhibit D: Bush critics Ted Kennedy and John Lewis, and French
exchange student Alexandra Hay, turning up on terrorism No-Fly List
Exhibit E: Shoehorning theocracy into American life against the wishes of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and George Washington
Exhibit F: FISA
Exhibit G: NSA
Exhibit H: Nixon’s Enimies List, as well his ordering the execution of
four Kent State students.
Exhibit I: Kanawa County, West Virginia
I should like to make before Bob Barr
got the nomination, I was planning to
vote for libertarian Steve Kubby, so I
am not an orthodox liberal.
They always say that! Thinking that the American public is so dumb. They even had the nerve to say that Obama was for BIg Oil Companies! The Republicans will say what ever they can and get away with as long as they win the White House!
I would appreciate it if you included your GPA, ACT/SAT, class rank, or any other important factor to give me an idea of what it takes to get a scholarship at these colleges. I am most interested in hearing about merit scholarships, but any scholarship information would be welcome.
I would like to know about the following Kansas colleges:
Kansas State University
Baker University
Emporia State University
Pittsburg State University
University of Kansas
Fort Hays State University
Washburn University
Wichita State University
Johnson County Community College
Kansas City Kansas Community College
What about these Missouri colleges:
William Jewel
UMKC
University of Central Missouri
Washington University in St. Louis
Thank you SO much for your time!!
Not sure. But I will suggest you to visit GrantS.tv
Hi all! I’m doing some research for a school project on non-profit organizations in Austin, Texas. I’d really appreciate some help with compiling a list of charitable programs of the Barsana Dham Temple in Hays County. If you have any information on this, please respond. Thanks!
Yes Barsana Dham do fund hospital and projects in india, but they are also involved in many local projects including: "Hand’s on Housing" – repairing houses in texas; "Clean Sweep Austin"; providing care and accomodation to people who’s homes were damaged etc. "Stride for chai" etc. Why not visit Barsana Dham & ask them personally?
Who are the 2 US Senators and 2 US Representatives from Hays County?
And who are the 2 Texas Senators and 2 Texas Representatives from Hays County?
Thanks!!
Go to the website I have listed below and you can find your Senators and Representatives by putting in your zipcode.
If you’re concerned about an issue, contact them by phone. You will speak to an aide but state your position and make them take down your name and address so they know you are a constituent. If enough people call, it can make a difference. : )