Comments on: Would you read my book? Please help?

By: Katie L

Katie L — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 08:44:59 +0000

I love it! It’s very intriguing! Good luck with the rest of your writing, and if you ever publish this, let me know!
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By: UglyxDucky

UglyxDucky — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 08:01:59 +0000

I really like it! great describing everything! Are you going to publish??
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By: Samantha

Samantha — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:36:59 +0000

It sounds interesting enough – though your beginning would be called a prologue, not a preface.

One suggestion I have is to leave out the "A monster. A Dreameater" line and go straight to "Mrs. Holcomb pulled an old video cassette from her jacket pocket and released Daniel, slowly trudging towards the TV."
It’s much more suspenseful, in my opinion. Don’t give away so much of your story in the very first paragraph.
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By: Bug

Bug — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:49:59 +0000

ya i would... but i might get bored w/ it as i go on
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By: Jenna Heap

Jenna Heap — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:14:59 +0000

this is really good KEEP GOING! and get it published when your done its amazing!
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By: Mimi♥

Mimi♥ — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 05:37:59 +0000

That sounds interesting. very creative
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By: Alyna W

Alyna W — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 05:00:59 +0000

It's interesting. Tjeahc ale oaiech amora aowe ahtech techeo ome!!!
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By: Purple Orchid

Purple Orchid — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 04:17:59 +0000

A preface is something the author says addressing the reader. You have written a prologue. I suggest also rewording things to be stronger without adverbs.
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